Over the years, when I have conducted marriage ceremonies, in addition to insisting upon premarital counseling, I have also requested time at the reception for a brief but important ceremony. I arrange a time with the bride and groom where I ask the members of both families to stand across from each other in the center of the banquet hall. I then talk about the importance of this new family unit that has been brought together and the importance of all family members being supportive of this new family unit that God has brought together. Why have I done this? I’ll tell you why.
In-laws can either be a help or hindrance to a newly married couple. Some mothers in law just don’t like their new daughters in law and have no problem expressing to their son and/or other family members their displeasure. There are also certain long term family expectations around holidays, etc. where each of the families compete or demand compliance with the family tradition. The newly marriage couple must decide what to do and that can be a major test of the relationship.
In-laws, because of their experience which has taught them a great deal about marriage and relationships, can be a tremendous asset to the young couple. They can offer them the wisdom and encouragement necessary to enable the couple to have a flourishing relationship. To be supportive, the in-laws must offer advice only when it’s requested, allow the couple to learn from their own mistakes, and be a safety net for both should it be needed.
If the members of both families rally around the new family, the chances are that they will have a more successful relationship.
Listen to audio version:
[display_podcast]
–
To your relationship success!
Jesse and Melva
