Occasionally, we have been asked if an affair or an open marriage would help a marriage. We strongly advise against it. Problems must be fixed within the marriage. Affairs only complicate things.
We’d like to offer the following reasons why open marriage is a bad idea:
1. Open Marriage Can Be Extremely Damaging To Your Spouse’s Self Esteem
Not always, but most often, one spouse proposes to have an open marriage. What is really being communicated is that their partner is somehow deficient, not capable or not good enough in some area(s) of the relationship. Imagine the negative impact on your spouse.
2. Open Marriage Is An Diversion
Successful marriages require work. The most important work is on one’s self. A successful marriage is not so much as finding the right person as it is in being the right person. Open marriage only diverts us from doing the work necessary to create meaningful, long term, mutually satisfying relationships.
3. Open Marriages Can Be Socially Embarrassing and Humiliating
Society generally frowns on open marriages. And when it is discovered that a couple is engaged in an open marriage, it can be embarrassing not only for the couple but especially for their children. Your response might be that “I don’t care what society thinks. I’m living my life the way I choose.” That’s fine. But remember that there are always consequences for the choices we make.
So our advice is to say no to open marriage.
To Your Relationship Success,
Jesse and Melva
Image Credit: Pink Sherbert Photography
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