The second most common complaint we marriage counselors hear is that spouses don’t feel supported by the other. It’s possible that you might be one of those spouses. If you don’t feel supported, you may feel that you’re carrying an unfair share of the burden in the relationship. And if that’s the case, you probably resent it–especially if your partner is capable of doing more but, for whatever reason, are choosing not to.
To be certain, there are “good times” and “bad times” in life and marriage. There are situations that may require a partner to contribute more because of unexpected circumstances. Right now, for example, your spouse may be laid off and having trouble finding a job. So, you may have to carry a bigger share of the finances until they can find employment. Or you may have a spouse who is seriously ill and you may be required to care for them while also managing the household.
While these two examples are understandable, in many common “day to day” interactions, women and men have their own reasons for not feeling supported. For many women, it is a lack of their spouse’s failure to listen to them, support them emotionally, romance and compliment them, give them love and affection, and give them a hand with the kids and household chores. Men often feel a lack of support because they also don’t feel heard, that their partner doesn’t appreciate or understand their pressures at work, the financial burdens they feel, their need to unwind, love and affection, and of course, their need for sex.
The bottom line is that in order to have a successful marriage, both women and men are required to carry pretty heavy loads. And, by working together, you can support each other to carry that load. You may not know how to do that effectively. And if that’s the case, you may need the support of marriage counselors like us to help you figure out how you can better support each other. There are a variety of ways we can help. Check out our blog site: www.couplestransformations.com. Let us hear from you.
