Tiger Woods

The whole world was watching recently when Tiger Woods stood before the television cameras and admitted that he had been cheating on his wife. He asked for forgiveness and stated that he was being treated in a sex addiction facility to address his problem.

His admission has prompted a considerable debate among mental health professionals and the public at large as to whether or not there is such a thing as a “sex addiction.” And what we have to say on this issue is not intended to end that debate. The bottom line truth is for most spouses who have been cheated on, it doesn’t make any difference whether it’s an addiction or not. Calling it an “addiction” does not take away the unbearable pain of an unfaithful partner.

The question a lot of people would ask cheaters is, “if you’re the kind of person who likes ‘sleeping around,’ then why say that you’re committed to one person when you’re not or even get married?” If you’re not going to honor your commitment to remain sexually faithful then just remain single. Spare any potential partner the emotional pain of your cheating or risking exposing them to various venereal diseases—some of which are life threatening.

Our recommendation is that both partners honor their commitment to being faithful. If there is a problem in the relationship, get help to fix the problem. We invite you to our web site www.couplestransformations.com to find helpful information and resources.

To Your Relationship Success,

Jesse and Melva

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Are you familiar with Gary Chapman’s book by that same title? If not, check it out. Men love to feel appreciated and to know that they have a positive impact on us. If you want more from your man, give him what he wants – not what you think he wants. This means that you must pay close attention to what he tells you that will make him feel loved and cared about. Then you give this to him. We call this the “Platinum Rule.” You “do unto others” as they would like to be done unto.

Even if you are not happy about some of the things going on in your relationship, if it is a relationship that has value to you and is worth fighting for, take a first step to turn things around. My mother told me years ago that you can attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. Be the change you want to experience on this very special day. And let this day be an opportunity to set an intention to have more days throughout the year as “Valentine’s Day.”

Here’s the other thing. You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money. Find out what makes his heart sing and prepare as much of it yourself. Most men love great food. What is his favorite? They also love special time alone with their woman. You can get really creative here. Get the idea?

One thing we know for sure is that committed love relationships are energized by co-creating and remembering great memories. Let that be a focus for the man you love. It only takes one person to get the momentum going. Why not you?

Jesse and I are sending you warm and loving wishes for the best Valentine’s Day ever. You and your man deserve it.

To Your Relationship Success,

Melva
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Over the past several weeks, it has been heartwarming to hear him talk about this special day. You can see him just bubble up with excitement in anticipation. Clearly, all of this is being done sincerely from his heart—not because he’s messed up and trying to make amends. He’s doing it because he truly loves his wife and wants this Valentine’s Day to be one that is memorable for both of them. Guys, he has the right idea. I hope you get the message.

Times are hard for a lot of people these days and you may not be able to do all that you’d like for your special lady even though you’d like to. The idea is to do what you can and let her know that you wanted to do a lot more. She’ll appreciate knowing that and is likely to be even more appreciative of what you’ve done to acknowledge her. Let your special lady know that you appreciate her, that she’s special and romance her.

Make her feel beautiful, desirable, wanted, and ignite them flame of passion in your relationship. Some guys might say, well, what about me? Yes, it does go both ways. So, check out what Melva has to say to women in tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day article. But guys, right now, just focus on your part in giving your woman a memorable Valentine’s Day. You’ll not regret it.

To Your Relationship Success,

Jesse
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* Compliment More—Criticize Less

If you want to make a positive change in your relationship, express your appreciations and gratitude to your partner more. We tend to tell other people about how much we appreciate about our partners but we don’t always communicate it to them. Our partners would like to hear it too so tell them—every day. Yes, we did say every day! Look for things to compliment—even the small things. The more you look, the more you’ll find.

* Create a Consistent Regular Time To Be Together To Have Fun

We recommend that couples establish a weekly “date night” to enjoy each other’s company. Doing it consistently is the key. You also don’t need to spend a lot of money. In fact, we recommend that you find free or minimal cost stuff to do that you can enjoy. We suggest that you take turns alternating responsibility for planning the date night activity. Allow yourself to go and do things that you normally wouldn’t do. The bottom line—have fun!

* Learn How To Communicate Better

The #1 problem in most relationships is an inability to communicate effectively. The ability to communicate successfully is a skill that must be learned. Resolve to learn how to talk to each other in a way that enables you to work together, to reduce conflicts, and to maintain a close, intimate connection. Let us know if you’d like help in this area of your relationship.

We want you to know that we are wishing you an abundance of happiness and success in 2010.

To Your Relationship Success,

Jesse and Melva Johnson

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It’s not unusual for couples who come to us for counseling to question whether or not they can preserve their marriages.

If You Haven’t Tried Marriage Counseling, Try It!

You have absolutely nothing to lose. And, there is a chance that you might find it helpful, be able to save your marriage, and spare yourself and your family of the additional pain of a divorce.

Start Making Whatever Preparation Required To Take Care of Yourself and Your Children If You Have Kids

Do you need to go back to school? Prepare for a better job? Get your finances in order? Start thinking about some “what if” plans? While you may not need to implement them, you’ll feel better and more confident if you have them.

Get Personal Counseling To Help Repair The Damage To Your Self Esteem

It’s not unusual for people who have had painful marriages to have had their self confidence shattered in some way. To repair the damage, individual counseling can be extremely helpful.

Re-Commit To Achieving Your Personal Life Goals

It’s possible that during your marriage, you may have placed your personal goals on hold. Now is a good time to get busy again toward achieving those things that are important to you.

To Your Life and Relationship Success,

Jesse and Melva