If you’re a couple with children and things are so bad that you find yourself fighting a lot, know that your children are being impacted. Why? It’s because your children are completely dependent upon you. When you fight, they get scared. The two people they depend upon are “going at it” so their world is not safe or secure. And because you are already angry, they don’t know what you’d say or do if they told you that they’re scared and want you to stop. It’s awful for your kids when you fight. And while you’re angry and upset, you’re not available to give them the time or attention they need.
Your kids don’t understand why you don’t stop fighting and do what you tell them to do. You tell them to “stop fighting, say you’re sorry, apologize, shake hands, and be friends again.” They wonder why you won’t do that. You might say that it’s not as simple. Maybe not to you but it is to them. They’d say, you’re not living up to your own rules and no amount of explaining it is going to make any sense to them.
You might believe that the answer is to separate or divorce. Research shows that in most cases, this is a bad idea. When you split up the family unit, the world that your children have always known is even more unsafe. It has a life-long negative impact on them. So, what’s the answer?
The answer is to fix the problems in your marriage or relationship. And since you haven’t been able to do it on your own, it’s time to get some help. Let us help you. Email or call us for a free 20 minute telephone consultation. See our contact information below. Let us hear from you.
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Here’s to your relationship success!
Jesse and Melva
