There is no more excruciating pain in a marriage or relationship than the discovery that your mate has cheated.Most often, when women cheat, men respond with anger and rage. And when men cheat, women typically become so emotionally upset with their pain that they have difficulty functioning. They find themselves crying for days, have trouble eating, sleeping, concentrating, or managing the smallest tasks. They share many of the same symptoms of our servicemen returning from Iraq who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder—a very serious mental health condition.
There are two types of cheaters. The first is the typical “one night stand.” And while this type represents a serious breach of trust, it is easier to repair because there was likely no emotional attachment and was a “slam bam thank you mam” sex thing. The second type is the “serial” cheater—meaning that they (1) have had multiple sexual partners and/or (2) have been involved with a lover over an extended period of time. Most likely, they have established an emotionally close sexual relationship. This type is enormously more difficult to forgive and cope with because it constitutes a major breach of trust and has involved years of lies and deceitfulness.
If you, or someone you know, have been cheated on, our advice is that you allow a period of healing and seek professional counseling to enable you to move through the grieving process faster.
If you’re the one who has been cheating and want to preserve your marriage or relationship, we urge you to end it right now! If you’ve had problems in your relationship, get help. It’s far better to end the affair before your spouse finds out. If you don’t, at least for a while, you may be living in such torture that you might think that you’re an inmate at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. Both you and your mate deserve more. Get help now! Let us help you!
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To your relationships success!
Jesse and Melva
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