http://couplestransformations.com/being-stuck-unhappy-marriage/ Michigan Marriage Counselors Jesse and Melva Johnson Tue, 31 Aug 2010 08:43:51 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 http://couplestransformations.com/being-stuck-unhappy-marriage/comment-page-1/#comment-3331 Robin Rood Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:03:17 +0000 http://couplestransformations.com/?p=115#comment-3331 I am in a unhappy, lonely marriage. We barely talk. He talks to the dog and cat more than me. We do not share intimacy. Sex for him is a job or chore that has to be 'done' not enjoyed. I get 15 minutes of his time if he feels he can spare it. Usually he can not. I started out loving his man more than I ever thought possible. Now I have no feelings for him at all but cannot leave. I now intertain thoughts of him having an accident at work and how I would feel if that would happen. I would be sad for his mother but I would not be sad for his loss. He has hurt me and damaged me emotionally. He will not listen to my needs and wants and anything I say, try to discuss is addressed as ME being fussy, and when I am being fussy I am not worth listening too. I have read every book and done every suggestion, nothing works. Yet I still try to figure it out. I used to blame it all on me, but it is not me. I lost weight, I watched movies with him (XXX rated), I fixed him all his favorite meals, I still wait on him hand and foot and handle all of the household responsibilities. I found pornography - a duffle bag full, he will watch the 'dirty' parts of movies over and over again. Yet when he finaly decides he needs attention he treats me like a piece of meat. No kissing no caressing, no loving statements. He drags me to the bedroom to get his needs met. There is no foreplay, no afterplay, within 2 minutes of finishing, he is putting his clothes back on and back to watching TV. He tells me he doesn't have time. But he will spend 3 hours detailing his vehicle when the kids are gone, time we could be sharing. But he doesn't have time. My kids leave every other weekend we always have alone time, but he can't even carry on a conversation with me. He is happier to see the dog when he comes home from work. He never greets me or kisses me. I get asked what's for supper and am expected to cook it and bring it to him. I am not allowed to try to inniate anything. I get ignored or downright turned down. I feel cheated. I used to cry and be angry, now I feel nothing. I am exhausted. I have tried talking, writing it down on paper because he doesn't like it if I become emothinal, he never opened the letter. We can't talk about anythong because he becomes defensive. Me asking for him to do this or that, is ME telling him he is doing something wrong in his book. I can't seem to reach him. I still think he is attractive, but I am begining to believe that marrying him was the worst mistake of my life. I am in a unhappy, lonely marriage. We barely talk. He talks to the dog and cat more than me. We do not share intimacy. Sex for him is a job or chore that has to be 'done' not enjoyed. I get 15 minutes of his time if he feels he can spare it. Usually he can not. I started out loving his man more than I ever thought possible. Now I have no feelings for him at all but cannot leave. I now intertain thoughts of him having an accident at work and how I would feel if that would happen. I would be sad for his mother but I would not be sad for his loss. He has hurt me and damaged me emotionally. He will not listen to my needs and wants and anything I say, try to discuss is addressed as ME being fussy, and when I am being fussy I am not worth listening too. I have read every book and done every suggestion, nothing works. Yet I still try to figure it out. I used to blame it all on me, but it is not me. I lost weight, I watched movies with him (XXX rated), I fixed him all his favorite meals, I still wait on him hand and foot and handle all of the household responsibilities. I found pornography – a duffle bag full, he will watch the 'dirty' parts of movies over and over again. Yet when he finaly decides he needs attention he treats me like a piece of meat. No kissing no caressing, no loving statements. He drags me to the bedroom to get his needs met. There is no foreplay, no afterplay, within 2 minutes of finishing, he is putting his clothes back on and back to watching TV. He tells me he doesn't have time. But he will spend 3 hours detailing his vehicle when the kids are gone, time we could be sharing. But he doesn't have time. My kids leave every other weekend we always have alone time, but he can't even carry on a conversation with me. He is happier to see the dog when he comes home from work. He never greets me or kisses me. I get asked what's for supper and am expected to cook it and bring it to him. I am not allowed to try to inniate anything. I get ignored or downright turned down. I feel cheated. I used to cry and be angry, now I feel nothing. I am exhausted. I have tried talking, writing it down on paper because he doesn't like it if I become emothinal, he never opened the letter. We can't talk about anythong because he becomes defensive. Me asking for him to do this or that, is ME telling him he is doing something wrong in his book. I can't seem to reach him. I still think he is attractive, but I am begining to believe that marrying him was the worst mistake of my life.

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