http://couplestransformations.com/5-best-things-to-do-for-your-marriage-relationship/ Michigan Marriage Counselors Jesse and Melva Johnson Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:56:06 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 http://couplestransformations.com/5-best-things-to-do-for-your-marriage-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-1297 Jesse & Melva Johnson Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:10:56 +0000 http://couplestransformations.com/?p=195#comment-1297 Dear D Tracy: We were touched by your question because we imagined that you were looking forward to a romantic "get-a-way" with your husband to Niagra Falls but things didn't turn out that way you'd envisioned. It doesn't appear that travel for you or your husband has been very pleasant and that if you could find a way to address it positively, it would result in a more pleasurable experience for both of you. Clearly, the two of you need to have a conversation about this, preferably, at a time when neither of you are emotionally upset. We're guessing that there is more going on with each of you beneath the surface of your taking a trip together. For example, most likely, there are some very specific reasons why your husband "gets so angry with unfamiliar travel." In our experience, often fear, associated with the unfamiliar, is expressed as anger. And, his anger is likely to be triggering something in you. This is why you need to have a conversation together about your trip taking. A lot of what we do and how we respond to situations is unconscious. So, you may need the help of a marriage counselor to help each of you get in touch with what's going on beneath the surface of this upset. Our guess is that your reactive responses are probably showing up in other areas of your relationship(s) as well. Try having a conversation about it and if you get stuck, get help. We'd love to hear from you at some future point telling us about a marvelous and fantastic trip you took and the great time you had together. In the meantime, we'll hold that thought for you until it becomes your reality. Jesse and Melva Dear D Tracy:
We were touched by your question because we imagined that you were looking forward to a romantic “get-a-way” with your husband to Niagra Falls but things didn’t turn out that way you’d envisioned. It doesn’t appear that travel for you or your husband has been very pleasant and that if you could find a way to address it positively, it would result in a more pleasurable experience for both of you. Clearly, the two of you need to have a conversation about this, preferably, at a time when neither of you are emotionally upset. We’re guessing that there is more going on with each of you beneath the surface of your taking a trip together. For example, most likely, there are some very specific reasons why your husband “gets so angry with unfamiliar travel.” In our experience, often fear, associated with the unfamiliar, is expressed as anger. And, his anger is likely to be triggering something in you. This is why you need to have a conversation together about your trip taking. A lot of what we do and how we respond to situations is unconscious. So, you may need the help of a marriage counselor to help each of you get in touch with what’s going on beneath the surface of this upset. Our guess is that your reactive responses are probably showing up in other areas of your relationship(s) as well. Try having a conversation about it and if you get stuck, get help. We’d love to hear from you at some future point telling us about a marvelous and fantastic trip you took and the great time you had together. In the meantime, we’ll hold that thought for you until it becomes your reality.
Jesse and Melva

]]> http://couplestransformations.com/5-best-things-to-do-for-your-marriage-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-1265 D Tracy Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:14:00 +0000 http://couplestransformations.com/?p=195#comment-1265 We went away to Niagra Falls, but my husband gets so angry with unfamiliar travel & doesn't take responsibility other than getting a trip tik from AAA and seems to end up unprepared even though he is the driver. I try to help with navigation, but he can get too mean for me to think straight & then I loose the ability to assist with directions. Can you offer any suggestions, this is an unhealthy behavior that has been going on for years, that creates a love - hate enviroment. I dread getting in the car sometimes. It puts us up close & personal in an instant, which would be fine if it was more positive. Thanks so much... We went away to Niagra Falls, but my husband gets so angry with unfamiliar travel & doesn’t take responsibility other than getting a trip tik from AAA and seems to end up unprepared even though he is the driver. I try to help with navigation, but he can get too mean for me to think straight & then I loose the ability to assist with directions. Can you offer any suggestions, this is an unhealthy behavior that has been going on for years, that creates a love – hate enviroment. I dread getting in the car sometimes. It puts us up close & personal in an instant, which would be fine if it was more positive. Thanks so much…

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